Baka Yuugi
by Ryokotwin Insanity no miko
Summary: The Suzaku seishi failed to summon Suzaku the first time but before anything happens something unexpected takes place and the whole story line gets screwed up seriously


Disclaimer- These characters do not belong to me in anyway! I do not claim ownership to   
it. This little…um…story was made by yours truly as result from too much soda, too   
much Fushigi Yuugi, and a whole lotta chocolate… Feel free to send flames to me due to   
my mutilating the seishi but be warned that all you will get is a nice fluffy letter telling   
you how much I appreciated your kind comment….  
  
The Two characters- Ryokotwin *me* and Tasukitwin *my friend* are created by us   
and I DO take ownership for them ^^;; anyways enjoy the parody.   
  
Title- 'Baka Yuugi'  
Time- After the failed attempt to summon Suzaku  
Place- Suzaku's Torch Shrine  
  
Ryokotwin- *appears out of nowhere* Okay! Okay! That's enough of this crap!  
  
Tamahome- Who are you?  
  
Ryokotwin- *strikes a pose* I'm the new director, choreographer, scriptwriter, character   
designer, and anything else you can think of! *Laughs like a maniac* And there's   
nothing you can do about it! This is MY fanfic!  
  
Hotohori- How did this happen? How did you get past the barrier?  
  
Ryokotwin- The barrier was no problem and this all happened with a little help from my   
buddy Tasukitwin. The art of hacking into important documents goes a long way…  
  
Tasuki- Tasuki…twin? Why the Hell does she have my name?  
  
Ryokotwin- *ignores him* Enough of the chit-chat. I want to rewrite the ending of this   
entire anime series.  
  
Miaka- Why would you want to do that? It's going fine…except for the fact that we   
failed at summoning Suzaku.  
  
Ryokotwin- *Solemnly pats Miaka on the back* Believe me, I've seen the ending and   
it isn't pretty. Several of you die dramatically, one of you has a funny look bald kid…oh   
wait…that doesn't happen until the second OVA…oh well, ignore that statement.   
Anyway what I'm getting at is that Seiryuu still gets summoned and all of you will go   
through hell and back…  
  
Tamahome- But Suzaku gets summoned and Miaka and I stay together forever, right?  
  
Ryokotwin- I forget. I think that someone mistook him for a turkey and ate him on   
Thanksgiving…ok! Everyone take one of these rewritten scripts and I'll explain your jobs   
out loud so that the wonderful people reading this parody will understand how I changed   
this story. *Hands out scripts*  
  
Miaka- *eyes widen* I'm a cafeteria lady? That sounds like a lot of fun…it has food!  
  
Tasuki- *face screws up* Why am I a cafeteria lady? I'm not a woman!  
  
Ryokotwin- *grabs Tasuki's script* sorry…grammatical error…*Writes Cafeteria   
MAN on cover of script*   
  
Tamahome- Mine doesn't say anything…  
  
Ryokotwin- *looks* OH! You're the 'Thingy'!  
  
Tamahome- Thingy?  
  
Ryokotwin- Let me show you what I mean…*pulls ponytail and a music box version   
of 'Voice' starts playing out of nowhere*  
  
Miaka- OOOH! Let me try! *Pulls ponytail and music box version of 'Still' starts   
playing*  
  
Nuriko- not much difference in this script to my old one.   
  
Ryokotwin- Of course not! The only thing different is that you get a really cool looking   
bowling ball!  
  
Nuriko- Oh! That's nice…what's a bowling ball…  
  
Hotohori- *looks over script in silence* this says that I should take a pill that was   
created by hundreds of clowns and perfected by you…  
  
Ryokotwin- *Quickly and silently passes a pill to Hotohori* Don't tell anyone about   
this…or else everyone will be wanting one.  
  
Hotohori- *a little nervous**Swallows pill* Nothing happened…   
  
Ryokotwin- *waves hand back and forth* Oh! Believe me, something will happen!  
  
Hotohori- *even more nervous*waits*  
  
*Chiriko pulls on Ryokotwin's skirt*  
  
Ryokotwin- Yes?  
  
Chiriko- What do I do? You never gave me my script.  
  
Ryokotwin- But you don't need one for your part. You play as the idiot-boy-who-only-is-  
labeled-as-smart-because-he-was-smart-enough-to-swap-test-with-another-boy-who-was-  
really-a-genius.  
  
Chiriko- I can't do that! *Horrified*  
  
Ryokotwin- Yes you can! Just don't try. *Plops a dunce hat over onto his head and his   
face changes to a dull blank one* See? I knew that you could do it!  
  
Hotohori- *Still waiting*  
  
Chichiri- My part is the same, no da.  
  
Ryokotwin- Of course! We don't want to disappoint all your loyal fans who live only to   
hear you say 'no da'…that would be bad for the ratings….OK! Anyone else need help   
with your parts?  
  
*Everyone backs away*  
  
Ryokotwin- Okay then…lets get your weapons and costumes…*pulls a big box outta no   
where* Tamahome step forward!  
  
*Tamahome stes forward and Ryokotwin gives him a penny*  
  
Tamahome- *raises eyebrow* How does this help me?  
  
Ryokotwin- It's lucky…its brings you more self esteem!  
  
Tamahome- *rolls eyes* ooook….  
  
Ryokotwin- Nuriko!  
  
*Nuriko steps forward and Ryokotwin gives him two pretty plastic bracelets*   
  
Nuriko- *eyes light up as he grabs the bracelets* ooooh! Preety!  
  
*A sudden shriek is heard and everyone turns to look at Hotohori who had   
crumbled to his knees weeping*  
  
Ryokotwin- Looks like he found out what the pill does.  
  
*Hotohori mournfully holds a precious lock of hair that had fallen out*  
  
Ryokotwin- Yup…the emperor is balding *shakes head* I knew I should have let   
Tasukitwin write his script! Anyway…back to businss *hands the   
weeping Hotohori a portable handheld mirror with flashing lights*  
  
Hotohori- *sobs and accepts the mirror*  
  
Ryokotwin- *looks at watch* We don't have much more time until the author gets to   
lazy to finish this chapter so lets finish quickly. *Hands Chichiri a top hat*  
  
Chichiri- This is a weird hat no da.  
  
Ryokotwin- We're also making so that you say 'no da' ALL the time…we need the   
ratings…  
  
Ryokotwin- *Hands Tasuki an apron that reads 'Greasy Grub Diner', a hair net,   
and a ladle* There you go. *Hands Miaka the same thing minus the ladle*  
  
Tasuki- How do I shoot fire out of it?  
  
Ryokotwin- You don't, it's used for serving food.  
  
Tasuki- *face falls* Then how the *beep* do I fight! *covers mouth at the sound of the   
censer*  
  
Ryokotwin- That's another thing…we're censoring all the 'naughty little words' that   
come out of your mouth because we can and we want to make you angry…  
  
Tasuki- *beep*  
  
*Chiriko grabs ladle out of Tasuki's hand and begins to whack himself on the head   
with it continuously*  
  
Tasuki- Hey! That's mine!  
  
Ryokotwin- *hands Chiriko a picture book* Go amuse yourself with this. *Chiriko   
grabs book and runs off* Now…last but not least! Mitsukake!  
  
Mistukake- *gulp*  
  
Ryokotwin- *hands Mitsukake a giant washing machine*  
  
Mistukake- *staggers under the weight of it* What is this for?  
  
Ryokotwin- *shrugs* I dunno…inside joke? *watch starts to beep* Ah well…I got to   
go now because the author is about to finish up this chapter and I need to give Taiisukun   
and the Nyan Nyan's their parts. Sayanora! *Disappears*   
  
*everyone lets out a sigh of relief*  
  
Hotohori- I'm glad that lunatic is gone. *Another clump of hair falls out and he starts   
crying again*  
  
Miaka- Runs over to Tamahome and pulls his ponytail, the music box version of   
'Tsuki No Nai Yoru' plays  
  
Tamahome- Stop it!   
tt  
Miaka- *Giggles and pulls it again, song starts over again*  
  
*Image gets distorted as the chapter ends*  
  
Ryokotwin- Stay tuned for more 'Baka Yuugi'. Next time Tasukitwin gives the Seiryuu   
seishi their scripts…  
  
Tasukitwin- …and watch Nakago do a strip tease!  
  
Ryokotwin-…that doesn't happen…  
  
Tasukitwin- Well it should!  
  
Ryokotwin- As true as that might seem, I doubt that the people reading this wouldn't   
want to read it…or would they?  
  
Tasukitwin- that's right! Remember! Its what you want that counts! Tell us any requests   
you might have and MAYBE we could fit it into the story line *Like there really is   
one*…MAYBE!   
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
